Happy Birthday to Me :-)

Today at Let The Words Flow I posted an article that was very hard to write, because it involved being very honest with myself, then displaying that honesty to the world.

Yes, it’s true… today is my birthday. Today I am 21. :-)

There’s a lot going on. I’m flying out Friday to see my close friend sjmaas get married. I’ll be staying in a hotel with meaganspooner and fellow LTWF contributor bee245.

Sarah pretty much changed my life when she contacted me back in October and asked me to be a founding member of LTWF. That group evolved my concept of the publishing industry and of writing culture itself. But there’s another person who changed my life more.

Even though he wouldn’t be with me today, Chris changed me into someone who’s confident, mature, and professional. Because of him I got a job at my current company, began agent-hunting, and eventually moved out and bought a house. Because he loved me I learned how to truly love myself. And even though the love between us is over (and, I fear, the friendship), the respect I gained for myself has remained.

As I say in the article, 21 marks a turning point for me. I feel like I’ve come into my own. Now that I have a legal license to venture into all parts of the world I actually feel ready to do so. And no one can take this type of awakening from me, even if they leave me, even if they hurt me.

It’s been rough. I’ve been sick. All I want to do now is fly to California, hang out with my writer friends, and forget all of this nonsense. But I think I’ve passed through the worst of it. Tonight, driving back from my parents house where we had Chinese food, watched a movie, and I forbade them from singing to me, I felt oddly uplifted. Like I can see the sun on the other side. Or maybe I’m just anticipating Santa Barbara ;-)

In any case, thank you to everyone for your kind birthday wishes. You all really made this day special <3

6 thoughts on “Happy Birthday to Me :-)

  1. I think most of us who envisioned ourselves as young writers have come up against a moment like what you describe in the LTWF article. But really, it doesn’t change the fact that we’re brilliant, talented, capable people with so much time in front of us that we can’t even comprehend it.

    We’re going to have a blast this weekend. Can’t wait!

  2. I didn’t see this until today, so I’m a day late, I’m afraid, but I’m glad your birthday turned out well! I hope you guys have a fantastic time in California :D

  3. I loved your post, it was so honest and I admired seeing the growth and progress you’ve made.

    On Chris, the only people I know who still have friendships with their exes are those who had little to no contact immediately post break-up. Then, after they had time to lick their wounds, they were able to be friends again. Not being friends with Chris is the best thing for you right now (IMHO) but even if you are never friends again, it gives you time and energy to go out into the world and use the confidence he helped you build to go meet new friends who will help you grow and develop in other ways (like the LTWF ladies).

    I don’t know about you, but I am constantly marveling at how the friends I have at each stage in my life are the friends I need for that stage of life, if that makes sense.

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